I haven’t done this in a while, but I am today because I am beginning to understand that sometimes men REALLY are clueless. I don’t care to WHOM the books are targeted, you need a little help too.
If any guys read this or even glance over this site, let me give you a small piece of advice.
If you are intimately involved with a woman – you are committed to her, you care about her, will protect her, love her etc.
Listen Up and Read ON -
Most of the time, especially when you find yourself in the dog house often, it is because the woman in your life does not feel appreciated or heard. If life has become a living hell and she is not even trying to give you a benefit of the doubt, please take my advice:
Before there is a situation or argument and certainly a couple of days after the argument has occured an you have moved on from it, begin to daily give a little tenderness and adoration. Treat her like she is precious to you and, wait for it, this can be something you can do for FREE!! This would SOLVE so many of her insecurities that she may have. Yes, she is insecure because she feels that you may not be listening to her or respect her opinon. Treating her like she is a dolt or with condensencion does not help your cause and admit it, sometimes you DO this. It is a man think, but it IS going to cause a problem. Being tender won’t get rid of the disagreements, it won’t create absolute peace but it will remind her that it is not you versus her. Get it? Take the lead and remind her that ya’ll are in it together and you are glad to be in this relationship and on this journey with HER and it will create trust and dare I say it, a bit of joint inner peace. She loves you. Trust me, she too will demonstrate it back and part of the way she will do it is give you the benefit of the doubt and not just a cussing out. She will ask and she will listen because what women know is that men are demonstrative when they show love. When you remind her by treating her with that bit of kindness, tenderness that you care and that you still adore and appreciate he she will calm down and cut you some slack – give you time to explain or to maybe even apologize if necessary. This is why chilvary REALLY was your friend. That was cherishing behavior, get it? Try out what I am suggesting – I mean what can it hurt, right?
Ways to show adoration/ be tender:
1. Go to her, hug her gently and say the words to her she may need to hear – I love you. Don’t make a move for sex. She will probably be in the mood afterwards but don’t YOU go for it. LOL. Let her take the lead on that one.
2. If you are fly by nights due to job demands – before you leave the home, not a rushed peck and out the door, 20 min before you leave for wk do the above and pray with her AND over her/yourself and your home.
3. Hold. Her. Hand. In public. Without it being a special holiday or when you are with the fam or crew. Hold. Her. Hand.
4. After joking around with her (YOU DO THIS NATURALLY ANYWAY, LOL) look at this beautiful woman that you are with and let her know that you love her smile, she has beautiful eyes etc. Come on fellas, think!
5. Is it game night? Occassionally grab a few of those wings she likes a slice and and a drink to make sure that she is taken care of too.
6. Does the forecast over the weekend suggest that it is going to be a rainy wk week? Get her car keys Take her car and check air pressure, wipers etc.
7. Just hold her and talk to her softly. Tell her your concerns etc. Listen to her concerns too. You have no idea how much THAT will cement the idea that ya’ll are in this together.
8. Groceries are coming in the home. Help her get them out and put them away. If this is her house errand day, dude offer to order something or pick up something before she returns home. In other words, let her rest for the rest of the day.
These are simple every day things you can do. It will make your life easier. She will remember that you DO cherish her and that YOU TWO are in this together – even when she is ticked off with you and THAT will get you cut some slack.
Of course there are flowers occassionally, massages occassionally, etc. But really things from the heart – reminders that you both are DEFINITELY in this together will be more effective.
Hope these suggestions and this method help some of you out there.
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