So, I am dating again. So far, it could be called a big dissapointment. This online dating thing can be challenging to say the least. I approached one guy and we tried to meet up on a Saturday evening and he got caught by the cable provider and we made tenative plans to meet the next day. The next day I did not hear from him, gave him a call to see what was going on (honestly I really just wanted to stay in the house!) and found out when I contacted him (around 1:30 pm) that he was still. in. bed. This fool did not call me to let me know he was chill with staying in bed even though HE suggested meeting the next day instead around oh 1- 3 pm. GTHOOBS. Moving. On.
Next, I start talking to this guy who seems really interested. We talk for a few hours and things go very well. We have a discussion about having kids. Folks, I will be 40 in less than 3 months. Yep, March 5th is most definitely on its way. Since he is 38, I go ahead and let him know that maybe 1 or 2, but because I am older, children might be an issue. I even suggest that he looks towards women who are a bit younger. He dismisses it. He suggests that I be more optimistic. Number one I am kinda like should we not get to know each other a bit first, though if children are important to him I won’t fault him for that. We go on and are to meet. That date gets cancelled due to his mom having a health complication. We talk briefly and he wants MORE clarification about what I will be willing to do to have kids. This nut, instead of admitting to me and himself that kids are damn important to him …. let’s just say what he did afterwards makes me give him a seriuosly hard side eye. Did I mention that this discussion about kids took place 2 times in less than a week? That kind of freaked me out too, to be honest as well. I am honest with men about having kids and the age that women can have the best chances of having a healthy baby because if having this is important to them they SHOULD know. After the age of 35 having a child with down syndrome or other health issues is a serious probability. I also want men I deal with to know if they are open to having another kid, because I want who I am with not to regret their decision. I just want honesty back, and the decision he made – which really did not affect me on a deep personal level but dissapointed me and hurt me a little bit – was just… wrong. I don’t think he will be calling back. I don’t think I will go out with him even if he did ask me. One of my girlfriends suggest that I should do so, and I should talk to him. Really I am out of the fixing other folks business or their thinking and behavior business. I am moving on from this one.
I think until the 2nd wk in Jan 2012 I am going to lick my wounds and prepare myself for school. Then I will get back in the saddle again. I still believe in good solid love and I still want that love with a really good man. I got my parents and too many other folks who parents are married to know that this kind of love does exist, and yes, I mean to pray for and keep/share it myself too.
These are examples of what represents as men out here in the dating world. They both are good guys, but when it comes to being good men, needs a little work. Not bad, not horrible – they need to do the work on themselves. Love is not easy, it cannot be regulated to a group of rules that women should follow in order to get a man or what a man should have to keep a good woman. It is all the things that the vows state and more. Aaah hell, I have kissed a couple of frogs – one who has fallen asleep on his dang lily pad and another who moves like grease lightning. Let me put on more lipstick … in two weeks. LOL.
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