OK. This morning was a little rocky, but as the day went on, I got with it. I have received a lot of happy birthday wishes from folks. I have received a lot of blessings and grace from God today and across the years, and I want to say thanks to God and the blessings he send as friends for that too.
I have made a decision today. If what I read on your blog is largely negative or attempts to place folks in a box then I really am considering stop reading you. I have a need for beauty now. I have a need at this point in my life for kindness, beauty, hope etc. I cannot and I will not accept negativity and ugly cause it is all you have to offer. This kind of makes me sad, cause some blogs that I have followed for a while I am now going to slow down reading them so often and visit them once in a while. I kinda don’t want to do this cause I like the people. I like the spirit that they have and their motivation - their push to do better. I like the fact that with all of their faults they do like themselves. What I do not like is the limiting language all of the time. What I do not like is the willingness to look down on folks. I do not like it. Soooo, in order to stop thinking with a smirk on my face, you really do think like this? I am going to visit them like I would a friend that lives far away from me – sporadically.
It is a new day and I need, I crave, I want beauty in my life. There is so much ugliness, so much snark, so much meaniness (yeah I made it up!), so much —- I do not want to invite it into my life. I do not want to willingly invite in more ugliness in my life than necessary. I welcome in peace, tranquility, serenity, joy, love, hope, care etc. I know that it cannot all be avoided etc., but I want to enjoy life despite it. Heck, I am working on my horrible cursing habit, and I curse like a sailor. Maybe not on here, but man do I curse. Because I want more beauty in my life I am trying to calm it down. Sometimes you must defend yourself and the boundaries you have, but defend them when there is no reason – NO. I read one blog recently and I thought she is so angy and defensive and she really does not know she is. In so many ways she is a beautiful person but when the other side comes out it is OUT. I don’t know what is happening with her – and Lord knows that life can really come at you sometimes, but this is about petty things. It is really petty. I need to stop reading her so much now.
I also decided to stop letting technology rule my life. I have got to start turning off the TV more. There is usually little to nothing on it. I am going to start turning it off and putting my energy into creative ventures instead. I have not worked on my book, worked on some poetry or anything else for that matter in a while. I have not created a card, or worked on a box either. It is time to make the madness stop. It is time to get back to work with doing the things that make me happy beyond coming to work and working in the library.
My revelation at 37 is that life is here for you to learn, love, and be full of joy. God wants you to learn and to be about His business , give to others and yes to also take care of yourself. That is what I will continue to do. I will continue to march closer to the son and become who I need to be.
Happy B-day to be me. I pray that you are having a wonderful and joy filled day with me as well.
