i am through fighting msyelf. i like my small group of friends, my artsy ways, my voice as i sing a song, putting it continuously on repeat. i like the fact that i talk aloud when things bug me and chase my thoughts around in my head hog tying ‘em down until i dissect them in smaller and smaller bites getting to the core the root of the problem. i like the poetry, the stories, the observations. i like the knowledge, the reading, the listening to others, i like it. i like to finally but into words the best way i can, and i can do that because i study and take my time to observe everything by the way, and make a splash without trying. i love my brain. i love my faith in God. i love the fact that i like books. i like puzzles. i like crocheting. i like trying new things and seeing if things fit. i like the fact that i am not really confrontational. i like the fact that everybody knows where they stand with me because i do not play with their feelings. i like it. i love that about me. i i am through with trying to make myself like everyone else, trying to be the center of attention. i give that up. i am gonna be me. i like that i am opinionated and can watch things unfold with a certain amount of detachment. i like me. i love my imagination and how it skips and moves and keeps me thoroughly entertained.
look, i am not the girl in the middle of the floor holding court. i could do that, and on occassion i have, but that is not me unless i fell passionate about what was said or what i need to say. every girl has her sasha fierce. i usually hold court where i am the reigning queen, at my home, my folks etc. you get the idea, right yes? i am confident, intelligent and pretty but i do not have to make you understand or see that. if you don’t, on the real it is your loss. i am the girl chillin watching the crowd from a corner or a stool at the bar. i am the chick who feel like i have nothing, i mean nothing to prove. and i don’t.
i am through with fighting myself about being someone i am not. i am what i need to be for me at any moment and frankly that is enough. i am through fighting myself to be something that i am not. i am not a size 4,8 or 12. i am not loud and obnoxious, i do not need to be the center of the world, i am not a shrinking violet. never will be. i am assertive, i am creative, i am sweet, i am a full figured woman, i am thoughful, i am intelligent, i am caring, i plan and take calculated risks, i love fierecely…. i am.
i am through fighting myself and trying to force fit myself in boxes due to a perception i have gained from others that i should be, should behave, should blah, blah, blah . i am gonna be me. i am through fighting myself on some journey to a magical place where i am everything to everyone. i am just gonna be me – getting healthier, better, more loving – living with courage and excellence and in faith.
